I'm Telling You Now
by smallearthcat
Summary: Freddie goes away to college, and suddenly he can be anything he wants to be. Apparently what he wants to be is Spencer's boyfriend. Freddie/Spencer slash.


Pretty much the second Freddie's mom left him alone in his dorm room – under strenuous protest, mind you, but she did eventually leave – and he realized that he was finally on his own for real, he breathed a sigh of relief. This was the moment he'd been waiting for. Hot on the heels of that was the thought that no one here knew him, and that too was a relief, not to have anyone know what a nerd he was or what his mom was like. He could be anyone he wanted to be, and that was awesome.

So, of course he ended up with a roommate who was a huge nerd, and it seemed kind of stupid to hide that part of him when he had someone who actually wanted to stay up late that first weekend they were there having a Galaxy Wars marathon. And with iCarly on hold (or if he was being honest with himself, probably done forever now that they'd gone their separate ways), Freddie found that he kind of missed the whole A/V thing, and so he ended up in the drama department a couple weeks later, holding a flier advertising an opening for someone to film play rehearsals.

The director, Mrs. Wright, gave him the side-eye when she saw him, but she seemed suitably impressed by the clips of iCarly he showed her, and she told him to be there for rehearsal on Tuesday, so she must not have completely hated him. At any rate, he showed up on Tuesday, sat toward the back of the group of theater kids and waited for them to get started. He wasn't completely tuning Mrs. Wright out, but it was still a surprise when he heard his own name. He shrank down in his seat a little bit, but thankfully it seemed she'd just been announcing his presence filming them.

The actual filming, when they finally got to rehearsing, turned out to be kind of boring, especially when compared with iCarly. The camera they had for him to use wasn't exactly ancient, but it was easy to see that filming drama rehearsals wasn't a top priority. And doing the filming wasn't that exciting either; he had to pay enough attention to point to where the main action was, but that was about it. Still, the time passed more quickly than it could have, and when they finished up, he promptly had a small crowd gather around him.

"Go back a little bit."

"No, too far.

"Not far enough. Go back to the point where I-"

"No, I wanna see-"

"Enough!" Freddie snapped, and most of them had the good grace to at least look abashed at their hounding. "I'll download it from the camera and have it up for you guys to watch by tomorrow night."

Most of them looked satisfied with that, and the group broke up and wandered away pretty quickly. Freddie started packing up the camera and only realized someone was still there when he heard a throat clearing next to him. He looked up, and there was a girl standing there, fidgeting slightly.

"A few of us are heading over to Starbucks. You want to join us?"

Freddie glanced over, and sure enough, there was a small group of girls waiting, some looking bored, others impatient. "Yeah, sure. Just let me get this put away, and I'll be right out."

When he got back, all of them turned to stare at him, and he had to try hard to hide his sudden bout of nerves. He'd never actually hung out with this big a group of girls before, and if he was being honest, he'd never expected to, either. Carly and Sam had only started hanging out with him out of pity one day when his mom was driving him so crazy he'd gone to sit in the hall outside their apartment to get a little time away from her. But this, a whole group of them actually wanting him there...well, he just hoped they weren't trying to get a sneak preview of the rehearsal video.

***

It turned out they weren't, or that they were doing a really good job of hiding it, because there was some talk about the rehearsal initially, but once they had their drinks and had crowded around a couple tables in the corner, talk turned to classes and weekend plans, and Janelle, the girl who'd invited Freddie along, turned to him and asked, "Are you seeing anyone, Freddie?"

And the answer was no, obviously, both because he wasn't and because she looked like she was really interested in his answer. So there was really no explanation for it when instead of saying no, he said, "Yeah, I uh, I have a boyfriend back home."

For the second time that evening, all eyes were on him, and Freddie blushed but didn't take it back. Janelle's smile dimmed a bit, but someone said, "Well, tell us about him, then," and Freddie stopped worrying about what Janelle thought.

"His name's Spencer, and he's an artist."

He proceeded to tell them way more about Spencer than they probably wanted to know, but he got the occasional "aw" when he told them something they thought was sweet (Spencer letting him stay over when he'd moved into the basement of the apartment building and hated it being the obvious favorite), and a couple of them offered stories of their boyfriends being sweet, too.

Overall, it was a pretty good night, especially when he left them at their dorm – apparently they were all neighbors who'd become friends pretty much immediately and agreed they would try out for the play together – and they asked him to have lunch with them between classes the next day. Of course, as soon as he was alone, Freddie had a minor freakout at the fact that he'd not only told a pretty hefty lie to his new friends, but he'd managed to involve Spencer without actually meaning to.

Oh, Spencer wouldn't mind, he was sure, but that didn't mean it was the smartest idea ever. For one thing, claiming to have a boyfriend when he didn't wasn't exactly the way Freddie had meant to try expressing that part of himself. The part that wouldn't mind having a boyfriend, only to get to that point, he'd have to, you know, not pretend he already had one.

For another, involving not only someone he knew, but someone he may have had sort of a bit of a ridiculous crush on since before he even realized it was a crush was a terrible idea. Most especially because of how _easy_ it was to pretend, to enthuse about how great Spencer was and all the awesome, crazy things they'd done together, and to imagine all the awesome things they probably would have done together if it had actually been true.

Freddie groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. No amount of thinking about what an idiot he was could help the situation. Normally, if he were having some sort of interpersonal drama, he would talk to Carly, and even if she didn't know what to do, she'd lend him a sympathetic ear. Except, if he called her now, he'd rack up international charges, and if he waited until he got back to his room to talk to her online, his roommate would be there listening in even if he tried not to. Not to mention the fact that it was probably 2AM in Italy right now.

So, Carly was out, and Spencer would normally be the one he'd go to next, but, well...Freddie slowed to a stop not far from his dorm. _Should_ he call Spencer? Freddie pulled out his phone and stared at it for awhile. Best not.

***

Maybe Freddie never would have told Spencer about the whole stupid thing if he hadn't kept telling his friends how great Spencer was. But he did, and he didn't know why he didn't see it coming when one day at lunch a few weeks later, Janelle totally threw him for a loop.

"You should ask Spencer to come down for opening night."

Freddie sat there for a moment, his mouth hanging open as he tried to answer, before Mandy cut in. "Totally! Bobby will be there, too, and then we'll have met everyone's boyfriends."

All eyes turned expectantly to him, and Freddie sighed, wondering when he'd gotten used to their collective staring. "I'll see if he can make it."

That led to a flurry of talking and planning, and Freddie was somehow sure he wasn't going to make it out of this alive.

***

Freddie debated whether to actually call Spencer or just to tell his friends he had and that Spencer couldn't make it. On the one hand, it would be much easier on him if he didn't call, but on the other hand, he really _wanted_ to. Not to mention that even if Spencer didn't come now, there would always be something in the future. Well, as long as he didn't fake a break-up, and Freddie didn't see that happening anytime soon, even if he knew it should have already. After going around in circles with those thoughts for entirely too long, Freddie finally threw up his metaphorical hands and pulled out his phone.

"Fredward!" was Spencer's enthusiastic greeting, and Freddie was glad he seemed to be in a good mood.

"Hey, Spence. How's it going?"

"Aside from the scorch marks on the ceiling, pretty good. How are things at college?"

"Not too bad."

Freddie was sorely tempted to ask about the scorch marks but knew if he did, he'd only be distracting himself from the reason he actually called, and given how conversations with Spencer tended to go, they'd probably end the call before he remembered to get back to it.

"I, uh," Freddie swallowed hard, "I have a favor to ask you. If you don't mind."

"Okay."

Surprisingly, Spencer stayed quiet while Freddie tried to fight down his sudden bout of nerves and get the words out.

"Would you mind coming up next weekend to see a play my friends are in, because I kind of told them you're my boyfriend and now they want to meet you," Freddie said in a rush, breathing a sigh of relief now that it was out there. He tensed up again as Spencer didn't answer, and didn't answer, and didn't... "Spence?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll come."

"You sure? You don't have to if you don't want to. I can always just say you couldn't make it." Or that they'd broken up; it would be easy enough to say that, too.

"No, it's fine. I want to. Text me the details?"

"I'll do that. And Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime, Freddie. I'll see you soon."

Once they hung up, Freddie's nerves returned with a vengeance, because holy shit, Spencer had basically just agreed to pretend to be his boyfriend.

***

Thankfully, opening night was only a week after he'd talked to Spencer, because if it hadn't been, Freddie was pretty sure he'd have gone crazy. He was nervous, excited, scared, a whole host of emotions that distracted him from just about everything that wasn't really important. He wanted to know why Spencer was going along with this but didn't know how to ask, and frankly, he didn't think he'd have been able to bring himself to try to talk to Spencer at all right then anyway.

Freddie was a little worried it would be obvious to his friends that something wasn't quite right with him or the situation, but luckily, they assumed he was nervous about Spencer meeting them.

"It'll be fine, Freddie. If he's even half as awesome as he sounds we're going to get along great," Janelle tried to reassure him.

Freddie managed a weak smile, but it was clear she didn't buy that everything was fine. "I'm sure you're right."

Janelle sighed and pulled him into a hug. "Try not to worry about it too much, okay? Just meet us outside after we're done and we'll go get some pie. It's really not whatever big crisis you're making it into in that overactive brain of yours. Besides, it can't be worse than when Paige brought Nate to meet us at that frat party, can it?" Knowing Spencer, it was possible, but probably not likely; projectile vomit was pretty hard to beat.

All the same, it had the effect Janelle probably intended, in that it made him smile for real. "I guess not. We'll see you then."

After Janelle left, Freddie had a couple hours to kill before Spencer was supposed to show up, and in an attempt to keep from freaking out, he tried to catch up on the homework he'd been too distracted in the past week to really focus on. He didn't actually expect it to do any good, which was why he jumped when there was a knock on his door. Checking the time, it was – _shit_ it was late enough that that was definitely Spencer, and any thought Freddie might have entertained about trying to maybe dress a little nicer than normal was right out the window. Instead, he ran a quick hand through his hair before opening the door.

"Freddo!"

"Hey, Spencer."

Freddie was glad at the enthusiastic greeting, that he hadn't managed to make everything between them totally weird, and then Spencer engulfed him in a hug, and pretty much every other thought flew out of Freddie's head. Hugging wasn't typical for them, and it threw him for such a loop that he didn't really have the presence of mind to make the most of it.

"So, what play are we seeing? You never did say. Also, what time does it start, and are we already late?"

"Uh, _1984_."

"Big Brother is always watching."

"Uh-huh," Freddie agreed distractedly, finally having the chance to notice that Spencer was dressed to impress. Not the tux, thank goodness, because Freddie probably wouldn't survive that, but he looked...good. Yeah.

"Freddie, you alive in there?" Spencer asked, waving his hand in front of Freddie's face.

Freddie snapped out of quickly enough that he didn't think Spencer had noticed his sudden...fascination, but he still flushed because geez, at this rate, Spencer would figure everything out in about ten minutes flat without even having to ask Freddie what was going on.

"I'm here, I'm good. We probably should get going, though, or we might be late, and I would never hear the end of that." Freddie grabbed his keys and wallet, ushering Spencer out and locking the door behind them.

"Yeah, I'd ask if there was a girl whose good side you were trying to stay on, but..."

Freddie inhaled sharply and looked at Spencer out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge how he felt about the situation. For once, Spencer wasn't giving anything away, calmly glancing around and taking in the campus. The lack of an overt reaction put Freddie on edge.

"About that thing." Freddie glanced over again, and it seemed he had Spencer's full attention now. "It just sort of happened. One minute I'm filming a theater rehearsal and the next I'm sitting in a Starbucks with a bunch of girls and telling them how awesome my boyfriend is. I didn't mean to make up a fake boyfriend, and I definitely didn't mean to involve you. I don't know what I was thinking, and I don't know why I kept it up so long instead of faking a break-up or something."

His stomach was in knots, because this was basically as close as he was likely to get to asking why Spencer was doing this for him. He was so focused on Spencer that he didn't realize they'd made it to the theater until Spencer stopped off to the side of the sidewalk. Freddie looked up, and his heart sank a little bit when he realized where they were. He briefly wondered how Spencer had known where they were going until he remembered that oh yeah, Spencer had actually gone to school here for awhile.

"If it wasn't just about time for the play to start, I'd say we should talk about this now, but-"

"But my friends will definitely notice if we come in late. Yeah, we can talk later."

Spencer nodded and they headed inside, sitting near the front because Janelle and the others would definitely notice if he wasn't there, and Freddie spent pretty much the entirety of the play wondering what was going to happen afterward. It was a good thing he'd seen the play over and over again every time there was a rehearsal, so he wouldn't have to fake knowing what was going on when they inevitably wanted to talk about it later on.

The play both took way too long and was over way too quickly, because Freddie wanted to just get on with the rest of the evening already, but in no way was he actually ready for his friends to meet Spencer or to talk to Spencer by himself. On the latter score, luckily, he had some time since his friends were ready and waiting when he and Spencer managed to make their way through the tide of people toward the backstage doors.

"Freddie!" Janelle called when she saw him, and he gave her a quick hug when she opened her arms.

"You did great tonight," Freddie said as he pulled back, smiling. She was flushed with happiness, and Freddie had a brief moment of regret that he hadn't told her he was single back when they first met, but it was fleeting, especially because someone suddenly grabbed his hand, and when Freddie glanced over in surprise, he realized it was Spencer.

"Guys, this is Spencer."

Spencer smiled his most charming smile and laced his fingers through Freddie's. "Ladies. You all did a wonderful job this evening."

There were a couple of giggles and a chorus of thank yous, and looking at his friends, Freddie didn't know why he'd forgotten that Spencer had always been great at charming most of the women he met.

"You guys ready for pie?" Melanie asked, and she sounded sort of gruff, but even she was casting sort of a dreamy look at Spencer, and she never liked any of their boyfriends. "Mandy and Bobby are gonna meet us there."

Everyone nodded, and they started walking the few blocks to the diner. Freddie was mostly quiet, content to listen to his friends talk excitedly about various parts of their performance while he tried not to make it too obvious how fixated he was on the fact that he and Spencer were still holding hands. They got to the diner fairly quickly, and then there was a full round of introductions for Spencer's and Bobby's sakes while they settled in and ordered their pie.

Overall, everything went about as well as Freddie could possibly have hoped for. Spencer really was his usual charming self, and no one even seemed to find it that weird when he showed them his glowing neon socks. And it was great, that his friends obviously liked Spencer, except for the part where Spencer wasn't actually his boyfriend, and now it was going to be even harder to do the fake break-up thing. There was no way his friends weren't going to want him to have Spencer come to visit for various reasons, and there was definitely no way Freddie could keep asking Spencer to do that, especially as a friend doing him a favor.

They lingered a little while over their pie, but after a couple hours, the girls started making noises about beauty sleep, and before Freddie knew it, they were back on campus, parting ways to go back to their respective dorms. He and Spencer were alone once more, but Spencer, whose hand had immediately latched back onto his as they left the diner, didn't drop said hand like a hot potato, as Freddie had half been expecting. Instead, he swung their entwined hands back and forth a little as they made their way slowly back toward Freddie's dorm.

"You don't need to fake a break-up with me, or tell them the truth, or whatever it is you're thinking of doing."

"I really kind of do, Spence. You charmed the pants off of all of them like you always do, and they're going to want to see you again."

"That's fine. I don't mind."

"But I do! I can't ask you to keep doing this for me, and I really can't keep doing this to myself."

Spencer stopped dead in his tracks, and Freddie was forced to stop, too, turning to face Spencer even though he didn't want to right at that moment. Spencer wasn't actually looking at him, though, but staring at their hands instead. "It doesn't have to be a favor. I want to do this."

Freddie's heart started pounding, because surely Spencer didn't mean that like it sounded. "And what is this, exactly?"

"You know, the whole boyfriend thing," Spencer said, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "It was never me doing you a favor."

"You...wanted it to be real?" Freddie's voice squeaked embarrassingly at the end, and he flushed.

"Yeah."

"Since when? I mean, why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know, it didn't seem right? You're my little sister's best friend, but even after she left, you kept coming around, and it wasn't because you'd forgotten she wasn't there. And I know you came over to see me sometimes before, but...you were a kid then, and it just wasn't the same."

Freddie knew what Spencer meant; it hadn't really been the same for him, either. There was a big difference between someone you saw all the time because of proximity and someone you saw because you wanted to see them. Maybe that was why a small crush he'd nursed for years suddenly turned into a full-blown fake boyfriend thing.

"But then you were getting ready to go off to college, so why bother, right? Even if you wanted to, a long-distance thing with someone 13 years your senior doesn't exactly sound like the kind of thing that's likely to last."

"It could, though. It could if we wanted it to."

Spencer laughed, and Freddie pulled his hand away, stung. He resumed the walk back toward his dorm, and Spencer rushed to catch up. "Hey, no. I didn't mean that it couldn't. It just sounds so idealistic, and if you hadn't spent the last two months trying to make it happen all on your own, I'm not sure I'd believe you wanted it to."

"But you do believe it, don't you? And we are gonna try?" Freddie reached out and tentatively grabbed Spencer's hand.

Spencer twined his fingers through Freddie's again, and Freddie's stomach swooped even as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, we're gonna try."


End file.
